Showing posts with label Brooke Hogan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brooke Hogan. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

TTM ALERT!

Mine eyes! I'm blind! Too much tragic tranny in one day! Please be careful as you scroll down...this is not pretty.


It is a damn shame when you have no clothes on but you still manage to be a tragic tranny mess. Brooke, Brooke, Brooke! Please stop. We've already been over this. Sexy photoshoots ain't for errybody. This means you.


Auberella! Why? Seriously, why? Yes, your album went double cricket but that's no reason to go completely overboard. You look like a bloody tampon. And I mean that in the best possible way.


Showing a little side cleave is not helping your situation. Wrong again! Here's what she had to say to OK Magazine when asked about her style at the Vitamin Water event.

"I love to stand out, I love to be the center of attention, I love to steal all the attention in the room and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think it's a fabulous thing to be if you're comfortable, so I look for clothes to do that. I just look for anything that’s bright, that stands out. I’m fun, I take chances, I think outside the box. I don’t like to have anything regular or anything everyone else does, so you’ll never see me in anything like that." Kuh-learly.

Dolly...yikes. Time has not been kind. Yes, I know she's looked like this for years but that's no excuse. And it makes it no less tragic! Her hair and her skin are the same color! I'm horrified, horrified, confused, sad, pained, and horrified. I can't.

Methinks I need to start a charm school for TTM's. We would start by scrubbing every last bit of makeup off (particularly mascara) and forcing them to look in the mirror until they start crying like Kelle from ANTM Cycle 3. The TTM must be purged! Then we'd go through their luggage and toss everything that's either sparkly or leopard print. Wait a minute. Why does this sound so familiar? I think I may need a touch of TTM Charm School myself. Dammit!
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Source/Source/Source

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Open Letter to Brooke Hogan

Lil Miss-guided,
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What kind of fuckery is this? I have sat idly by while you brazenly wore ass-less, denim chaps, not just once but a few times this summer, spreading your horribly horrible fashion sense all over tarnation, but now I am officially pissed. Is this what you call getting gussied-up for an awards show? I have three words for you: TRAGIC TRANNY MESS. This gives me an idea for a Halloween costume this year. Thundercats, ho! You could be Cheetara and I would be Panthro so that I could nun-chuck your taste-less ass! Aren't you 19 years old? Between the hair and the makeup you could pass for 45...and three quarters. Hello?! Brooke?! Are you even listening?!?!?! Oh, never mind.
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Damn you,
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Elle