Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Open Letter to Beth Mattek

Beth Mattek, 22, American tennis player
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My darling lil love trollop,
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You are handling your business on the courts of the U.S. Open...good for you, gumdrop! But your outfit...are you serious? Was it Studio 54 day at the Open? Metallic is officially inappropriate for the tennis court. I may have given you a pass if it wasn't for the coordinating Wonder Woman headband...were you trying to blind your opponent? Or perhaps distract them with your heaving breasticles? Either way, I beg of you, don't let it happen again.
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Hugs not drugs, Elle