Elle,I looooove the site. This question is for the Fab Gay Man. Are there any surefire ways to tell if the guy I'm dating is gay? I tend to go for pretty boys and its getting harder and harder to tell. Thanks a bunch and stay fab!
Chelsea
Chels,
FGM here, at your service! Great question dollface. I swear if I knew the absolute, no doubt, surefire way to detect a gay man in straight clothing, I would bottle it and sell it. Unfortch, as a rule, there is no rule. Any man you date could be a potential switch-hitter. But don't fret my pet, there are some general questions that can clue you in.
1. Does he wax?
Many a straight man engages in strategic hair removal. However, if your man's eyebrows resemble Terry McMillan's ex, Jonathan's, you know, thinned and angled, let this be a warning to you.
2. Are his S's poppin?
If your man's esssses are sssizzlin like a hot skillet, then sssufferin sssuccotash, honey, he may just be a gay man.
3. Does he have a case of the jazz hands?
Look out for men who talk a lot with their hands and over-emphasize everything with hand/arm motions. Drama drama drama, gay gay gay.
4. Is he too loose in the booty?
Don't get it twisted, ladies. Just because your man may like a lil booty tickle in the ol' sexual repetoire, doesn't automatically mean he's gay. BUT, if he's sliding open that back door a little too easily and a little too often, do think twice.
5. Does he ask for a double coat?
Manicures and pedicures are fine. Many a metrosexual straight man takes good care of his digits. But if he takes it to the next level by asking for the clear polish, your man has lept from metro to homo.
6. Does he ever engage in an eye roll?
Honey bunches of oats, listen to mother. Straight men do not eye roll. It's like a neck snap, look out for it and run the other way.
Chelsea-hon, I hope I've helped. The most important advice I can impart is to trust your gut and listen to your instinct. It won't steer you wrong. To all my other divas-in-distress, FGM is here for you. Do contact my girl, Elle at inawordfab@gmail.com with your questions pour moi.
Love and hugs!
FGM
