Shouts out to all my 80's babies! Strawberry Shortcake was my b*tch back in the day! I think I combed every last one of her berry-scented hairs out of her head. Her and Rainbow Brite (I always wanted a star on my cheek) used to love when I hugged on them and read to them and cooked them plastic eggs. I'm telling you me and Strawberry go back like Naomi's hairline. So then you can understand why I'm a little traumatized by her "fruit forward" makeover. Not amused. Not only did she get some serious work done (lipo, nosejob, eyelift) but she has pink weave down her back and green contacts! In the name of all things sacred, no! And where da Huckleberry hell are her bloomers?On top of all this, Miss Shortcake 2008 has kicked her cat, Custard, to the curb and now spends all her time on her cellphone. This is a travesty. “It’s...about creating a cohesive line,” said Jeffrey Conrad, the head creative designer for American Greetings. “We’re downplaying characters that were part of Strawberry’s world but who didn’t immediately shout out fruit.” Jeffrey, I bet you immediately shout out fruit. And it was the 80's! No one cared about fruit! Eff Britney, leave Strawberry alone!
