Okay, I just heard some of the craziest sh*t ever, and I simply must share. A friend of a friend of mine, who is only mildly attractive in the first place (and I'm putting that nicely), doesn't ever wear makeup. Although this is highly offensive to my sensibilities, I get it. Not everyone is into accentuating their natural assets with a lil gloss from time to time, fine. Personally, I can't comprehend this, but like my father says, if you like it, I love it.But here is where I had to put my foot down. This same young lady did not wear a stitch of makeup ON HER WEDDING DAY. None. I swear I've been walking around with a furrowed brow every since I learned this sad fact (I'm totally sending her my Botox bill this month). Like, how does something like this happen? Of all days in a woman's life, you don't decide to dab a little blush on before you walk down the aisle? I can only think of a few reasons how and why something like this could happen.
1. You have no friends, cousins, play cousins, aunts, or sisters and your mama is dead. Because one of the above should have snatched you up in a fit of rage and dragged you to the nearest MAC counter.
2. You're allergic to makeup. Whatevs, okay, this is no excuse. There are plenty of hypoallergenic products out there and the organic ingredients in mineral makeup have become a great option for people with cosmetic allergies or sensitive, problematic skin types. It's your wedding day...make it work!
3. You're a lesbian. 'Nuff said.
4. Someone lied to you and told you you were a natural beauty. Even the most beautifullest girl in this world can use a little zsujsh on her wedding day. And even if you look great in person without makeup, pictures are a whole 'nother story. Hello...you will be looking at these pictures for the rest of your life! A shiny forehead and ashy lips will really take away from your wedding album.
5. Your fiance/husband doesn't like when you wear makeup. Chile, please. This is YOUR day. Eff him. And anyway, the real truth is that women dress up and wear makeup for other women, even on their wedding day.
6. You really and truly don't care. And hey, if you don't care enough to get glammed up on your wedding day, then why should I? However, the next time I run into you in the street, and we stop and exchange pleasantries, and I begin to rustle around in the bottom of my handbag du jour, just know that I am searching for one of my opera-length gloves with which to backslap you. That's all.
