All is right in my world

I am loving this picture more than life. The drama, chile! They are giving me "drag aliens from the Planet Hair Piece." Try not to stare too long. If you're not already, this picture will turn you into a living, breathing flame.

The Dutchess herself, Miss Fergie, appears to be suffering from some form of Bell's Palsy but the most important thing about this picture? No eyebrow ring! Hallelujah Jesus! Joy comes in the morning! Sure, she's about 10 years late with this but let's not look a gift horse in the mouth. Here's hoping she burned it.

And our girl Aubrey is still a mess! This time on ice! Yup, all is right in my world. Okay, maybe it's not right but it's okay.

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Elizabeth and James Plume Feather Vest

First seen on Rihanna, the Plume Feather Vest from MK and Ashley Olsen's Elizabeth and James line has been making fashionable appearances on starlets everywhere this month. The front of the popular silk twill tuxedo vest is scattered, smothered and covered with delicate ostrich feathers from shoulder to hem. Rihanna smartly paired hers with black skinny jeans, a white beater and Louboutins.

Cassie wore hers shirtless with pointy pumps and leggings and kept it simple in head to toe black.

Amerie went way OTT, combining her vest with a pink tank, fringed over-the-knee boots, a printed bag and too much makeup.

My girl Aubrey stood out from the crowd in the white version, but lost me with those python boots.

The feathery vest is flying out of stores but can still be found at Intermix for $595.00. Would you wear it?

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TTM ALERT!

Mine eyes! I'm blind! Too much tragic tranny in one day! Please be careful as you scroll down...this is not pretty.

It is a damn shame when you have no clothes on but you still manage to be a tragic tranny mess. Brooke, Brooke, Brooke! Please stop. We've already been over this. Sexy photoshoots ain't for errybody. This means you.


Auberella! Why? Seriously, why? Yes, your album went double cricket but that's no reason to go completely overboard. You look like a bloody tampon. And I mean that in the best possible way.

Showing a little side cleave is not helping your situation. Wrong again! Here's what she had to say to OK Magazine when asked about her style at the Vitamin Water event.

"I love to stand out, I love to be the center of attention, I love to steal all the attention in the room and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think it's a fabulous thing to be if you're comfortable, so I look for clothes to do that. I just look for anything that’s bright, that stands out. I’m fun, I take chances, I think outside the box. I don’t like to have anything regular or anything everyone else does, so you’ll never see me in anything like that." Kuh-learly.

Dolly...yikes. Time has not been kind. Yes, I know she's looked like this for years but that's no excuse. And it makes it no less tragic! Her hair and her skin are the same color! I'm horrified, horrified, confused, sad, pained, and horrified. I can't.

Methinks I need to start a charm school for TTM's. We would start by scrubbing every last bit of makeup off (particularly mascara) and forcing them to look in the mirror until they start crying like Kelle from ANTM Cycle 3. The TTM must be purged! Then we'd go through their luggage and toss everything that's either sparkly or leopard print. Wait a minute. Why does this sound so familiar? I think I may need a touch of TTM Charm School myself. Dammit!
asdf
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Out About Town: J'Adore Anniversary Party

Hello buttercups! It's that time again for a long, drunken party post! (Yes, it's a week later but ya'll know how I do.) So last Thursday, J'Adore Mag celebrated its one year anniversary at Plumm, hosted Miss DK herself (and anniversary issue covergirl), Aubrey O'Day. The other cover features Ed Hardy mastermind, Christian Audigier. Anyhoo, there were some absolutely beautiful people out to see and be seen, and you know Elle got the snaps to prove it!

This dapper gentleman has the esteemed privilege of being my first pic of the night (you know I need to be inspired). Looove his style.

The hair, the scarf, the jacket...effortlessly cool.


Hey! It's photog extraordinaire, Dutch from Dutch Lab USA! Love his site.

Colorful cuties.

Sunglasses make everything sexier.

Fierceness! These three are giving good face.

Model Idel was super nice and worked the pose.

Lovely ladies...

...were definitely in the building.

Liked this look...I guess I'm into white pants on me these days (see above).

Funny...he had to make sure I got the sneaks in the shot.

I'm a sucker for big hair.

Aw! These two were such fun.

Miss Auberella was a sweetheart. She was there partying with D. Woods and Jaslene from ANTM.

Three words: City. Gym. Boys.

Just dayum!

Yay! I ran into my boy Matthew who's working at Tracy Reese and rockin' the fab Marc Jacobs tote.

Happy to see him.

This chick was just plain fabulous.

Dude on the right is legendary New York radio host, Lenny Green and on the left is Mr. Red of I.B. Concept Magazine.

D-Nice was spinning all my favorites.

Hello hotness! Makeup artist, Tierra Burrell was working that dress.

Loved her shorts...super cute.

Gotta love twins.

Great pose and I loved the headband.

Made fast friends with makeup artist, Bebe Ellison (on right). Nice ladies.

What's really good, guys?

Okay, stop everything and focus on the deliciousness in the middle. Good gravy he's hot. Um...could I whisper something in your ear right quick?

Politickin with my Parisian hot boy. I couldn't even tell you what we were talking about.

Just LOLZ.

He was right. At this point, it was time to give this whole night the two fingers.

Thanks to all who are pictured and to Shan for being the Pep to my Salt!

Red Carpet Roundup: US' Hot Hollywood Bash

US Weekly hosted their annual Hot Hollywood fete and the stars hit the eggplant-colored carpet in style. Short, flirty dresses were definitely the theme of the night. Style Icon of The Year, Heidi Klum, looked simply fab in her purple mini dress by Project Runway runner up, Rami Kashou.

Adrienne Bailon gets high marks for this nude metallic dress, also by Rami Kashou, and sparkly blue sandals. I looove this look from head to toe.

Lauren Conrad chose an aqua Catherine Malandrino dress with large paillettes and Christian Louboutin heels. Blah. As the "Celebrity Designer of the Year," wouldn't it have made sense to wear one of her own designs?

Now this Catherine Malandrino dress is sooo much better. Jordana Brewster looks super sweet in this black and white dress with the most darling embroidered concentric circle details.

I love the super feminine draping and gorgeous ruffles on Lindsay Price's creamy champagne confection. Next time though, she should remember to carry blotting papers.

Cutie Christina Milian looked a tad tanorexic in her Louis Vuitton cocktail dress, but I like how she accessorized with a gold cuff, matching metallic bag and T-strap heels.

My favorite mess, Aubrey O'Day picked an Alice + Olivia mini dress with rosettes. Not a fan.

Sanaa can do no wrong in my book. Here she is in a trendy tiered dress and cream heels.

Lo looks oh so appropriate for a Hot Hollywood party and is showing just enough skin in this sheer navy frock.

Eve shined in her bright celery Jay Godfrey dress, I just wish she would have zipped the zipper. I'm so over her cleavage tats.


Poor, poor Rumer Willis. Despite her fabulously form fitting Herve Leger bandage dress, she puts the butt in butterface.

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