WTFug? Top Design's Kelly Wearstler

If you're a fan of Bravo's Top Design, or like me, consider it a last resort when there's absolutely nothing else on, you've been exposed to the clusterf*ck of couture that is Kelly Wearstler. Week after week, she leaves me dazed, confused and mildly entertained with her fashion choices. I looove a fashion risk-taker, but even I have my limits. And it's not just the clothes that are the conundrum, it's mostly her hair and accessories that take her style from cool to kuh-razy. Crimps and beehives, top hats and turbans...Kelly, you are a mess of all proportions.

The Worst-ler had this to say about her Top Design style: “I never go out, but I have all these great outfits. So I was just like, 'Fuck it, I’m just going to wear them.'” I kind of love her for that. But this does not excuse the boosheet below. Look and LOL.







Okay, I'm actually not too mad at this outfit, minus the fingerless gloves and wierd side bang.

Kelly-boo, it's clear that you have some fabulous statement pieces in your closet but the key is not wearing them all at once! Back away from the crimper and please stop playing eenie meenie miney mo with your wardrobe. Thanks.

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All is right in my world

I am loving this picture more than life. The drama, chile! They are giving me "drag aliens from the Planet Hair Piece." Try not to stare too long. If you're not already, this picture will turn you into a living, breathing flame.

The Dutchess herself, Miss Fergie, appears to be suffering from some form of Bell's Palsy but the most important thing about this picture? No eyebrow ring! Hallelujah Jesus! Joy comes in the morning! Sure, she's about 10 years late with this but let's not look a gift horse in the mouth. Here's hoping she burned it.

And our girl Aubrey is still a mess! This time on ice! Yup, all is right in my world. Okay, maybe it's not right but it's okay.

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DAMNATION!

Tasia-boo, I've already been over this with you. You were featured in my very first In a word...FUG post ages ago. Remember? In a word...FUG: Animal Print Edition? Obviously my copious warnings and smoke signals have gone unheeded. You've forced my hand.

This is what comes to mind when I look into the dark abyss of your awful, awful leopard leggings:

Still confused? How about an artist's rendering...





Those leggings make you look half goat, okay? Harsh? Maybe, but it's my truth and my therapist says I should share more.

Love you but sometimes love just isn't enough,

Elle

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Open Letter to Kym Whitley

Dearest Kymmie-poo,

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I vote no.

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Love you still,

adfasd

Elle

Happy Fashion Week!

Sufferin succotash sweet peach, where did the time go? It's February 1st and the start of other Fall Fashion Week! Woo hoo! And lean wit it, and rock wit it, and pop wit it, and loc wit it...okay I'm a little too excited. But even on a wet and rainy day like today, the start of Fall Fashion Week in NYC can only mean one thing...Spring is right around the corner!

Before I sign off for the weekend (Elle got bidness to attend to), I must give a little inaword...fab love to Kerry Washington, who was super smartly dressed at the Obama/Clinton one-on-one debate last night in Hollywood. She's both sophisticated and sexy in that fabulously fitted suit. Gorgeous!

And one more question, who is this fierce Asian woman in head to toe Marc Jacobs? Oh Kim, you're such a delightful mess and this is why I can't help but love you.

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Have a great weekend everyone!

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Stay devastatingly fab,

sasdf

Elle

InawordFUG: Way Too Much Fabric Edition

As a person who wholeheartedly ascribes to the belief that too much is never enough, I can appreciate those fashion risktakers who strive to serve us fabulous looks that are dangerously over the top. These ladies, however, have taken it too far. Too much fabric-itis is spreading rapidly...don't let it happen to you!

Tyra Banks at the Daytime Emmys

Ty Ty,

I know that you've stomped couture catwalks all over the world in frothy confections just like this, but really darling, the Daytime Emmys? You would have been more appropriate in skinny jeans and a wife beater. Now don't get me wrong, the bronze color is gorgeous, but there is way, way, WAY too much fabric. The bottom of your frock resembles a tumor. That's all.

Elle

Marcia Gay Harden at the Tony Awards

Marcia Marcia Marcia,

Wow. I can see where you were going with this look, but you have officially crossed the the line between fashion forward and flamenco dancer. I look at you and I hear a Spanish guitar playing in the distance. Do away with those sleeves and approximately 57 of those necklaces...oh hell, just scrap the whole thing.

Love you like cooked food, Elle

Helena Bonham Carter at the Harry Potter premiere

Helena,

You look like a homeless mermaid. How is it that every drab piece of fabric in the world ended up on one dress, and you have it on? It's as if you got in a fight with your sewing machine and evil won. And the boots? Just one final slap in the face.

How dare you, Elle

SJP at the Valentino Exhibit, Rome, Italy

Dear dear SJP,

You are a fashion risktaker, this I know and love. It's only natural that every so often, those risks come back to bite you squarely in the arse. Getting to the point, it's your bolero: it's hideous and it appears to be swallowing you whole. If a strong wind comes, I'm afraid your a goner. By all means, burn it at once!

Thanks for your time, Elle

Remember ladies, sometimes less is more (but only sometimes).

Be forever fab,

Elle

InawordFUG: The Animal Print Edition

In honor of Posh Beckham's horrendously horrible zebra print mess that garnered her my Worst Dressed award last post, I bring to you good people InawordFUG: The Animal Print Edition.

As a rule, wearing animal print can be quite risky (see below). It requires a delicate balance of taste and styling in order to avoid looking like you are auditioning for Thundercats on Ice. Fashion beginners should incorporate a frisky print as an accessory, like a belt, scarf or shoe. Daring fashionistas are encouraged to try a free-flowing animal print dress, while keeping your accessories solid. Now, it is important to note that this is one trend that works best in a more expensive piece. Nothing says tacky like cheap and shiny snakeskin (see below). Finally, and this should have been Rule #1: Never, ever ever ever ever, mix your animal prints, okay?

And now onto our show! I beg of you...do not try these at home.




Dearest Tasia,

Tight, shiny green leopard print is not your friend. Especially on a dress with slits that are trying to meet in the middle. Especially on the opening night of your Broadway debut! In the words of Kelly Clarkson: Never again.

Love you,


Elle

Mariah is the official queen of the short and tacky. Every season, I anxiously await her development into the graceful, stylish, woman of a certain age I know she can be. But it is just not happening!

Much like Tasia's dress above, this dress suffers from too much: too much decolletage, too much thigh, too much print and much too tight. Wearing your sunglasses won't help you Mimi! The fug has found you!











Where do I start? Butterflies, snakeskin boots and a mohawk, oh my! This is an absolute fright. Are those the Pedicure Uggs I've been hearing about? Burn them at once! In the immortal words of Fresh, why must I cry?


















No worries, readers, all hope is not lost. Katie Cruise has gotten it right! Eye-catching dress, free-flowing fabric, solid accessories, this look is InawordFABULOUS!














Whatever you wear, wear it well!


Be deliciously fab, Elle